Thursday, May 7, 2009

Pitch Tipping: Selena Roberts is Full of Shit

Or, as former Major League outfielder Doug Glanville--and one-time teammate of Alex Rodriguez--more delicately puts it:

[A]ccording to the latest story, Alex is connected to some pitch-tipping scheme in which he relayed signs to the opposing hitter (if he was a friend) or for someone who would return the favor when he was hitting...Although I have never heard such a rumor about Alex, this may be one of the most egregious charges one can make against a player, and a rare one at that. Should a player know that someone in his own dugout is helping the opposing team, I would venture to say that all-out Armageddon would ensue. Imagine if a pitcher knew that his pitches were being given away to the opposing hitter by his own teammate no less. This spy would have to watch his back.

How would this scheme have been missed for Alex’s entire career? We all know that every time he plays, the camera zooms in on him. Opposing teams watch him obsessively, studying film endlessly. The “A-Rod cam” is on full tilt all the time. So, over a period of years, did the best in the business, the brightest analysts and teammates, miss that he was doing this for his roommate from the year before, or maybe for his cousin’s favorite player? Or did they know it but were afraid to come forward? Is it possible that all of these experts had their heads in the sand?
Yes, Doug, they did have their heads in the sand. All of these knowledgeable, experienced baseball people were duped. But fear not, sir, the mighty Selena Roberts and her scores of anonymous sources have come forward to save baseball from the Darth Vader wannabe known as A-Rod. Give me a fucking break. This woman is a cancer on baseball. And the best thing is she might end up making Alex the underdog in this whole mess and the recipient of fan sympathy. Or at least indifference due to her overkill.


  1. Selena Roberts is a groupie with a typewriter. Quite simply, in order for Alex Rodriguez to be tipping pitches to his friends on the other team, he actually has to have friends. Since that's not the case, I find her story difficult to believe at best, the ramblings of an obviously obsessed jilted prom queen at worst.
    And all is temporarily forgiven after A-Rod's 3-run bomb last night. First pitch, and goodnight. He's not a particularly likeable guy, but no one deserved that at-bat more. After his injury and off the field issues, even cynical baseball fans are slowly beginning to root for this guy. I guess nothing produces sympathy like Selena Roberts' stalking.

    Dude, it's 8:30 am and all I can think about is having that KFC Grilled chicken for breakfast. I want it. I want it now. I want it all the time.

  2. yeah that too! It's now 8:15 am and only do I once again crave that chicken, but as it is both early and empty in here I'm blasting Kings of Leon. It's been 6 months and I can't get over how good that album is. "Manhattan" great song...reminds me that we will soon be drinking a bottle of Chateau Ausone from the balcony of my West Side Duplex my friend...